5 Simple Ways to Change Someone’s Mind

TIME

This article originally appeared on RealSimple.com.

Conduct an Interview

When they’re trying to change someone’s mind, people often assert their position and then dig in. I think it’s better to backpedal a bit first and pose open-ended questions. That way, you’ll discover how you can both get what you want. Say you and your husband disagree on vacation plans: He wants to go camping; you prefer a nice hotel. Ask him, What’s important about going camping? What do you love about it? How important is it to do that with the family? Would you be interested in having a separate camping trip with your friends? Try to dis­cover his interests and needs. That can help you come up with something that’s mutually agreeable. Maybe you’ll decide that the vacation is five days camping and two days in a hotel on the way back.

Lisa Gates, a negotiation consultant and…

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